Superpower: Turning bad ideas into great adventures

Second Career: Time-traveling toy broker

Most Likely to Get Distracted By: An unmarked trail

Life Philosophy: We are Mustachios, yes?

Greatest Achievement: Making family Christmas photos bow to mustache season

Most Likely to Ignore: "Private Property" signs

Conspiracy Theory: Half of Chris's stories are social experiments

Most Confusing Trait: Simultaneously the most thoughtful and least trustworthy source of information in the group