Claim to Fame: The Owl is wise and reliable. He only buys mustard in 2-year quantities and eats peanut butter before every ride to attract unsuspecting prey.

Signature Catchphrase: “You’ll never get lost if you turn around and go back the way you came”

Hidden Talent: No matter the temperature, he can sweat through any article of clothing

Go-to Mood: He’s a sniper on the trail waiting to pass at your weakest moment while announcing, “On your left, fucker!”

Survival Quality: Emotional vacancy

Item He’d Bring to a Deserted Island: Ziploc bags